Sleepy Sleep

Tonight my phone died somewhere between bath time and story time. I always dread this happening because it means I will be nursing in the dark bored out of my mind for an hour before it is safe to leave my sleeping baby and go charge it.

You know, in time for the next feed…

Tonight was different, though. I would love to lie to you and say I am always on top of my mom game 110% of the time. Always present. But the days are long and I need my little handheld window to the adult world outside. Tonight I didn’t have that, and as the dark minutes were ticking by and I was switching from left boob to right boob position, my son did something he had never done before…

He turned around and snuggled up to me so I was spooning him.

*Pause to explain that he sleeps on a floor bed, so I side nurse him to sleep in his room.*

Anyway, he loves to sing, so he started humming which I took to mean he wanted some extra lullabies. I started singing Blackbird by the Beatles, one of his favorites since he was born. Then I launched into In My Life and then Landslide… I kept peeking over his shoulder to see him looking at my hand and stroking it with his little hand. By the time I started Coldplay’s Yellow I could feel his little body relax and I knew he was finally asleep.

It took everything in me not to burst into tears… he is the most precious and amazing little person I have ever known, and he’s MY son. I love him, he loves me, we’re a happy family. It was just one of those moments where I can’t help but wonder what I did to deserve this kind of contentment.

I look forward to doing it all over again in 3 hours or so.

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